Friday, September 24, 2010

brown and red

ohyes. so i go to bed ...with a pad on..because well....i think i am going to start my period?
about three weeks ago..i start eating everything in sight...and my belly never stops looking pregnant.
which is adorable..when you are pregnant..
oh gluttony..oh jesus..please allow me into heaven..for i have sinned..over..and over..again.
hahah.

and than about 1.5 weeks go by..and i feel okay..and now i just get massive leg cramps...
i am almost positive this is because all the blood is almost ready to fall out of my vagina..
instead of circulate through my legs.
complete logical sense.

and than there it goes...spotting..kool aid...pink lemonade flavoured....coming out...
you know what that means....it is almost time...time for...



REGULARITY!!

guys have no idea what i am talking about
why..because dudes crap like 7 times a day without trying.
and if you are a chick and do the same thing..just know you have one jealous fan.
her name is reychl.
ohh..
reychl == me.

SO FINALLLYYYYYY.

every morning....i will wake up to...a full tampon....and a leaky pad.
which i prefer to pretend the pad is a blanket for the little baby falling out of me.
which would be the tampon.
see..when you think of it this way...it is way ca-uter...
ohh. like button noses on real people.
and the want...and the need...to allow my butt hole to gust open with the wind..
and allow a nice...soft...long turd...to drop.
drop like a male infants testes.

so everyone! stop drinking coffee to crap! and squirt katsup up your vagina....and hope that it acts as a placebo...so you have regular poops...ALWAYS!
answers.answers.anwers

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