Saturday, October 23, 2010

i like moving big turds

you do not know anything about me...except well...that i am writing a blog about poop.
or maybe it is just coincidence that i am writing a blog about poop...and that those were not my original intentions...
but.. maybe you are wrong:o)

i am a custodian at a high school. - for the time being. dAAAANNNG. super fun stuff.
so i clean washrooms. mmmm, what a delicacy . 
now - dood washrooms are gross. sure, they pee everywhere...because peeing on the floor is super fun.
they spit out their gum in the urinals..because well. they used cheerios growing up.
why not gum as a young adult.

but girls. girls are fabulous.
because you would EXPECT a girl...yes..because stereotypically...they do not fart or crap right.
they just spew blood from their vaginas...hopefully saving it monthly so they can use real blood instead of fake on hallowe'eenie.

girls love not flushing the toilet.
and not just when they turd in it.
when they turd in a red pool of awesome.
nothing like going into a stall and seeing a huge turd....marinating in their period blood
sometimes...i even get a pad wrapper shoved underneath the poop. so i get to move the solid get the plastic pad wrapper..that they clearly did not want to crinkle up and put in the feminine waste container thing...located directly to their left or right.
no..they would rather put ANOTHER present inside the crapper.
so that..i thank you..
i do not even know why i am complaining about any of this...

that is my poop stick. 
seriously though. 
i often times..want to take a sample of the crap..and from like. dna science junk..figure out who this is...and embarrass them. because - well, i hate them. :o) am i going to turn this into i have all the answers. it is.
eat more mcdonalds and cookies and candy bars..PLEASE.
i want your crap to come out i do not have to put on my purple suit to decontaminate your butt hole droppings.


  1. I saw a similar picture several times when living at home during high school and it made me want to cry and stab my mom in the neck with a fork. Maybe handles are just hard to figure out for women.

  2. You get to wear a cool purple decontamination suit?!?!?! I'm jealous. But not of anything else. It's bad enough that I walk into our restrooms IN UNIVERSITY and still see turds marinating in period blood with a side of used tampon. I am tempted to post notes about flushing the toilets. But I haven't yet. But I should.

  3. ahahahaha. stab neck with fork seems like the most reasonable way to teach a lesson to me. :O)
    i was thinking about taping notes to doors.
    of my fist...and writing. if you do not flush..i will shove my fist up your butt hole and take all of your poop out so this is not an issue anymore.