your pussy smells like dead fish. wait, i feel something...

have you ever shoved your fingers inside someone...and thought
HOLD UP.
what the heck is that...
of course you have not..because there are only a few people in the world that would
[1] forget to take out a tampon

[2] would put vaseline on their penis so that the condom would slip off inside someones pussy or butt hole. i mean.. PUSSY or MUSSY. ;) ..man pussy. so cute.

 

just the combination ..really. just like the word. 

[3] i really think that would be it...besides gerbils...but those would be eating through your anal cavity real quick...and you probably would be dead with a rotting gerbil trying to dig its way out of your fetish body

which leads me to think..i wonder if a gerbil in the butt hole would feel like someone tickling your back.
but in your butt hole.
maybe that would be pleasant...

[4] forget they put a tampon in ...and a week later treat themselves for an itchy crotch pussy yeast infection
which..i mean..probably at this point.. would look like a yeast infection because the cotton tampon disintegrated or was chewed up by teeth...
everyone knows a vagina has teeth.

just like a penis has one eye.

both scary things to the opposite genders/sex.
that is why there are homosexuals.
one eyed monsters..and teeth. stick to what we know ;)

anywayss.
end of story..
just kidding.
end of story will end like this.
yes..i slid my fingers inside some pussy.
was like.. "what the heck is this"
but my face portrayed more of a questionable.happy.concerned look.
"i am going to just...do not be alarmed okay..i think there is something inside your vagina and i am just going to scoop it out"
not my fault i can be so casual.
and as i scooped it out..
literally..i went back in twice...
as the smell leaked out of the vagina..each second...my fingers cupped what felt like a hard brick.
and every millimeter it moved...allowed my nostrils to have a sense of encouragement.
you are not broken. CONGRATULATIONS!
a rotting mouse smell . no. let me just say fish for fun. rotten fish..you think walking passed a fish market smells.
picture a fish market where all the fish were dead. and you had to jump in a swimming pool of just dead fish.
now we have the right picture.

"i apologize for this happening..and i am not disgusted ..but this does have an odor to it...so i am going  to go through this away and wash my hand. "
i ..of course..re ensured i was not disgusted.

good morning...week old -- soaken wet...with a film of snot surrounding the entire thing -- tampon ;; whose pieces ..small little pieces..detached themselves from the tampon..and were having a party inside the vagina..around the fishytampongoodness

mainly because i am such a nice person.
but it was disgusting.
good thing i ..love....disgusting.

water poop.

sometimes i have to crap. and can not.
actually. i have told the doctors i am super irregular and i know the proper diet while drinking water would help out with that..except - i hate drinking water. disgusting.
instead. i would rather shove water up my butt hole than shove it down my mouth.
it is going into a hole. just probably not the usual one.

 "DISGUSTING"

"PLEASUREFUL" 

now that we all know what kind of things i enjoy ;) we can continue.

just kidding. i do not like anal play. 

do not poke me in the rear. i thank you in advance.

i have a bottle. yes. i reuse this bottle. you see ...the , whatever is in an enema, hurts the stomach.

it might break down the crap but...i prefer no stomach ache. if i am going to have a stomach ache..it will be because..

i ate this. three times in one day. it will not be because i shoved chemicals up my butt hole... hoping to make my hard poops into hot chocolate..so i can finally eat a banana split. ya hear me. 

instead. here comes the good part.

i reuse the same enema bottle. over and over again.

i put it back into the box. and put it under the sink. where it lives until the next time .

if i think about it...it is quite disgusting. i keep putting this nozzle up my crapper that has had crap all around it. 

but i like it.

my stomach hurts. i enter the bathroom.

take my pants off. fill my bottle with nuke warm water..

bend over and insert.

take it out and..

"SURPRISE"

a nice poop surprise on every end. that is how i know to think..

"woooftaa. good thing i am doing this now..i might have actually pooped by  myself in an hour"

pointless.

team work.

i wipe off that end after smelling it.

no. i do not smell it. 

i give it a taste

"SEWAGE. just as i expected."

i fill it back up with water. squeeze it into my butt hole.

fill it back up with water. and again. squeeze it into my butt hole.

yep you got it.

three bottles of water. 24 ounces...all up in my butt hole.

the challenge. 

holding it all in without any of it dripping down my leg.

IMPOSSIBLE.

as a matter of fact.

i generally think...wow..i hope poopy water does not drip down my leg. i think it might fall onto the white rug.

sometimes i have so much poop inside..that three bottles is a little much.

and it squirts out my butt hole. and i squirm to hold it in.

but i am usually successful.

and after a few minutes goes by.

if all of the water has not dripped down my leg.

i sit on the toilet. spread my cheeks.

grab the mirror that i have placed on the counter sink so i can watch my poop stream out of me.

and place that mirror in front of my crotch.

angle it right.

and let it gooooo.

 

i am unsure why i enjoy watching crap fall out of my behind.

but i enjoy it. 

maybe you will see me on that show where people sleep with blow driers and eat couch cushion.

keep your eyes open.

or...eye.

dip and check. splash and catch

and by dip and check...i simply mean...

 

:o) you never have to be curious what you taste like again.

if you just taste yourself from the beginning<3.

DUUUNNHHHHHH.

and if you want to surprise your banging buddy and give them a laugh.

eat broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and lots o' dairy :O) :O) :O)

make your vagina seem like a monster.

your vaginas a monster. ohhohhh. i can see this spin on a gaga song.

although i would rather gaga spin on me

or sit on me

or...

do not worry fellas. i will not leave you out.

 

get your aim on...and see what you want your partner to swallow - for your own selfish pleasure. ;)

mmm. i like selfish<3 

i hear scrotum sac smells like tacos....which is awesome. because a pussy is a taco...

so if a bag of balls is a taco...

it is like. ohh no...who am i having sex with. i have no idea.

it all looks and smells like a taco.

i am so confused.

you are so fun.

fun enough to go dip and check.

splash and catch.

BANGING YOURSELF TIME. is all the time.