is that ...BBs...in your crap?

.."reychl..there has been an accident in the restroom across from the gym"

FANTASTIC.

i ..of course...grab my mop bucket...disinfectant...and..never forget the gloves...slap those bad boys on..and we are ready for a cavity search..as i roll this yellow bucket...whose wheel keeps getting stuck to the bathroom...i am like..great..JUST GREAT.
"i am so sorry reychl..."
yep..that is what i hear walking towards the bathroom.....and the person who said it..well well...it could only mean one thing...ONE THING...

 

yes...thankyou sooo soo much...i could smell your crap before i even unlocked the door..and as i walk in...i hear.. 

"you can come in..it is fine..i mean..he has no pants on..is that okay?..he has a long shirt on though..."

me - " that is alright..just here to clean up some crap that i can smell all the way down the hall"

..just kidding. i did not say that..but i wanted to..because ...

 

it smelled..soo ..sooo bad ..and as i walked in...and got closer.closer.closer..

i coudl see ..little soft ..what resembled..Beebees...yes...small pellets..all up in the poop.

nice...brown crap...with a hint of yellow/brown pellets...

he probably ate them thinking..wow..this will accent my crap so very nicely as reychl picks it up with her hands.

and as i was scooping up the piles of diarrhea..chunky diarrhea...

i was hoping...my gloves did not have a hole in them. since i forgot to check.

 

and as i am almost finished...i could not help myself look at this poop closely...what was seriously in it..i would have asked..but unfortunately...the man that pooped on the ground was wearing no pants ..or knickers..and 

well..i could not look at him..and ask that question...

so instead..i looked at it closer...and as the woman went to go get him new clothes...i took a picture of the poop so i could blow it up and send it into ncsi; bathroom edition

i finally finished spraying the floor and wiping up poop that had gotten in between tile..of course..i should have left it there for a little souvie. maybe the ants would have liked a little mudd pie.

he walked over to the stall..where he eventually finished dumping his load...and stepped in the other pile..

THANK YOU SOO SOO SOO VERY MUCH.

now you have crap no the bottom of your foot..which is soo attractive..but now..

now i have to clean up..crap foot prints..ONCE AGAIN.

thank you ..and i appreciate your service. next time..please eat pumpkin seeds whole so i can rinse out your poop and have a snack while cleaning up your insides waste.

 

water poop.

sometimes i have to crap. and can not.
actually. i have told the doctors i am super irregular and i know the proper diet while drinking water would help out with that..except - i hate drinking water. disgusting.
instead. i would rather shove water up my butt hole than shove it down my mouth.
it is going into a hole. just probably not the usual one.

 "DISGUSTING"

"PLEASUREFUL" 

now that we all know what kind of things i enjoy ;) we can continue.

just kidding. i do not like anal play. 

do not poke me in the rear. i thank you in advance.

i have a bottle. yes. i reuse this bottle. you see ...the , whatever is in an enema, hurts the stomach.

it might break down the crap but...i prefer no stomach ache. if i am going to have a stomach ache..it will be because..

i ate this. three times in one day. it will not be because i shoved chemicals up my butt hole... hoping to make my hard poops into hot chocolate..so i can finally eat a banana split. ya hear me. 

instead. here comes the good part.

i reuse the same enema bottle. over and over again.

i put it back into the box. and put it under the sink. where it lives until the next time .

if i think about it...it is quite disgusting. i keep putting this nozzle up my crapper that has had crap all around it. 

but i like it.

my stomach hurts. i enter the bathroom.

take my pants off. fill my bottle with nuke warm water..

bend over and insert.

take it out and..

"SURPRISE"

a nice poop surprise on every end. that is how i know to think..

"woooftaa. good thing i am doing this now..i might have actually pooped by  myself in an hour"

pointless.

team work.

i wipe off that end after smelling it.

no. i do not smell it. 

i give it a taste

"SEWAGE. just as i expected."

i fill it back up with water. squeeze it into my butt hole.

fill it back up with water. and again. squeeze it into my butt hole.

yep you got it.

three bottles of water. 24 ounces...all up in my butt hole.

the challenge. 

holding it all in without any of it dripping down my leg.

IMPOSSIBLE.

as a matter of fact.

i generally think...wow..i hope poopy water does not drip down my leg. i think it might fall onto the white rug.

sometimes i have so much poop inside..that three bottles is a little much.

and it squirts out my butt hole. and i squirm to hold it in.

but i am usually successful.

and after a few minutes goes by.

if all of the water has not dripped down my leg.

i sit on the toilet. spread my cheeks.

grab the mirror that i have placed on the counter sink so i can watch my poop stream out of me.

and place that mirror in front of my crotch.

angle it right.

and let it gooooo.

 

i am unsure why i enjoy watching crap fall out of my behind.

but i enjoy it. 

maybe you will see me on that show where people sleep with blow driers and eat couch cushion.

keep your eyes open.

or...eye.

poop bomb explosion

so yesterday i get to work..everything is going great!
why? because there are no kids in the building..it is election day after all..only for big kids.
ohyes..BIG KIDS...meaning - you are potty trained....
or i would hope so.

as i walk passed the principal..he says to me....some woman made a little accident in the girls room....i am not sure how little it is...and i said..smiling, "alright, it is no big problem"..
and as i look over at the girls bathroom...fifty feet down the hall..i notice a woman..
dressed in all black...what a wonderful black satin looking jump suit...

i am like..BINGOOOO.
she is playing with her phone..probably telling everyone she knows about her "boo boo"
because after telling ANYONE about this...and admitting to actually leaving that "boo boo" there....she would probably tell everyone of this experience.

the moment i see her.
"oh baby, i am so sorry" - poop girl
"it is alright, this is my job!" - me
"mmm jesus, i made a boo boo" - her
"oh i am sure i have seen worse, it really is no problem" - me
"you have not seen what i did yet that is why you can say that" - her
"it is fine" - me
"i can help you clean it up if you want" - her
"it is fine! i really do not mind" - me
"mm baby, i made a huge boo boo..oh jesus, please forgive me...and it is just not in the one stall..i had to get up and run to the other stall.." - her
 

...good...because i would TOTALLY....while crapping my pants off....run into another stall..hoping someone else did not just walk in the bathroom...as my vagina is blowing in the wind..
AND..as there is probably a caramel creme pie on top of my butt cheeks.

 

more accurate picture of what her vagina would look like..in the wind

well. so here went nothing..i walk in..well this is not too bad...the smell is alright...

until i start checking random stalls..gooood..my favourite

what do i see.

diarrhea....CRAP EXPLOSION. 

this is what must have happened..

oh my stomach hurts..

WHOOAAA MY STOMACH HURTS.

run.run.run.run.

stall..

and pull down pants..and

whoops

yep. everywhere but inside...

pools..POOOOL. of poop. if you can imagine swimming in a thick delicious mmmm. while trying not to get anything in your mouth...than you know..exactly what i am talking about.

poop speckled onto the back wall...and blotted on each side of the stall walls...

a trail of crap along the toilet and all over the floor...

misted onto the toilet seat..

and my favourite..

a poool of crap along the back of the toilet..that i will now have the privilege of dolloping it off.

i wish i had a spoon...so i could have ..no..that is disgusting.

:O

i just want everyone to know that ..had i done this..in a public restroom. i probably would have cleaned it myself with the paper toweling in the washroom...and than i would have told someone that something smells and to disinfect something....that is what i would have done.

JUST SAYIN.

well lady. say your sorrys to jesus all you want..

BUT I HAD TO CLEAN UP YOUR CRAP EXPLOSION. NOT JESUS.

his hands were currently tied up in doing something else.

let me not forget to add...

she left while looking back at me..after getting really close in my face..with her brown eyes..and when i say brown eyes..i mean...the whites were brown...

she says.." hunny, do i have anything on my pants"

and as i stare at her black satin tucas...i say..

"yes..there is a water spot about thissss big right on your butt hole"

and she said.."oh yeah..i did that ....myself."

and walks away....

i really did not say butt hole. but I WANTED TO.